And there were many, as there are every year. But unlike previous years, I couldn't blame most of them on the alcohol this time around. Nope - the following quotes are all pure, unfiltered, maybe a little tired, but otherwise aware Aaron. From concentrate. Is there any other kind?
1) Scene: the first game of the Ultimate season (or one of). Our team is gathered along the sidelines, catching up, stretching, and basically trying to look thin and energetic. I begin to make small talk with a teammate whom I know works for a certain local Water Commission. "So," I say, completely innocently - trying to relate, "were you working on the Harbour Solutions project?" Then - silence, or maybe there was some curt response, but in my mind there was just icy icy seething silence. I was, of course, referring to this Harbour Solutions project: http://www.cbc.ca/canada/nova-scotia/story/2009/12/15/ns-sewage-fix-cost.html. Woops. Perhaps not coincidentally, she didn't play another game this year. She blamed her knees, but we both know it was because I'm a tactless shithead.
2) Scene: visiting a friend's home to play guitar one evening. A record is spinning on the record player - not unusual for this household - and the singing voice is vaguely familiar. "Oh, is this Alice Cooper?" I ask, 100% serious, which is kinda funny because I know little of Alice Cooper, and enjoy probably less. This was met with a look that was part confused, part bemused, part insulted. "No" she said, trying to hide her smirk, "it's, umm, Lou Reed". Dammit she was right, sigh, and all (three, max) of my cool points evaporated instantly. To be fair, "While Light White Heat" is pretty Q104.
3) Scene: a huge round-table discussion at work with members of my company, and our customer (DND). Everyone is wearing ties and the mood is tense and uncomfortable. My supervisor and I just completed a presentation and we were fielding questions. A senior member on the customer side - sorry, the senior member on the customer side - put a question to me, which I kind of mis-heard. I blame his heavy french accent, and the hum of the air conditioning, and my nerves. I answered what I thought he asked, which of course was not what he asked, and if he had asked what I thought he'd asked, it would have meant that he had little to no understanding both of the work we were doing and frankly, the work he has been doing for probably the last 20 years. He calmly rephrased the question, other co-workers smirked, I feel the dumb. I guess you had to be there.
And there were oh so many more. I may update when they come to me.
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What you consider embarrassing I would consider normal discourse. I'm looking for some truly embarrassing moments i.e. hitting on a guy with long hair because he looked like a girl from behind, uncontrollable farting while making business presentation, or asking a lady when she is due because you thought she was pregnant and she just turned out to be fat. That my friend, is true humiliation. I pay money to see that.
Meat
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