This Is Up

1. Terri is pregnant, in case you didn't know. Today her doctor said she would likely deliver before December, which... is next week. The H is O. Short term schedules - out the window. Plans? Nope, sorry. That contractor we finally booked to do some work on our house (see below) - maybe not gonna happen. Aaron's nerves - ratcheted up. Baby? Near. This is exciting/terrifying - stay tuned.

2. I am quitting Twitter, as of... now. There. I still think it is a fantastic way to get news and jokes and follow the insignificant minute-to-minute accomplishments of several dozen complete strangers, but it is too much of a drain on my time and my attention. In the future, if I have something halfway witty that I feel is worthy of sharing with the world, I will write it on a Post-it note and stare at it until its image has been burned onto my eyeballs and then, hopefully, relayed to my closest friends and creepy Gypsies through my fledgling powers of ESP. Keep this in mind if you start dreaming of wry observations scribbled onto a yellow backdrop.

3. Tonight, my new dental hygienist ravaged my gums, mercilessly. I think they may still be bleeding. It was as if she harvested my feelings of guilt and embarrassment - having lied about my flossing habits, which are non-existant save for a panicked once over the night before - and moulded them into a scary, pointed device weapon utensil hook, which she then dragged clumsily and aggressively across my gums for 30 minutes straight, while at the same time subjecting me to the droning banality of "Live At 5". And then I said thank you and gave her some money.

4. My mind is kind of scattered today. See point (1) above. It is causing me to make dumb typos and use longer run-on sentences than usual. Sorry.