Call For Applicants Goaltenders

Effective immediately, local aerospace company seeks qualified individuals to support ongoing work under a number of long-term maintenance contracts and, in light of recent employee turnover, act as puck-deflection engineer in annual company hockey tournament.
- Basic computer, writing and or verbal communication skills are not essential, however, applicant must be able to tie their own shoes/skates and justify continued employment by carrying out such menial tasks as sweeping, filing, snow shovelling and salting, quarterly reporting and/or civil engineering;
- Must demonstrate good lateral motion while maintaining the butterfly position, or alternatively, fill a space of 4 feet by 6 feet while in a crouch stance;
- Ability to demonstrate passable (or even improved) motor skills and hand-eye coordination while slightly inebriated will be considered an asset;
- Must be comfortable placing body in path of flying frozen rubber projectiles; and
- Self-respect and personal hygiene requirements are minimal.

Interested parties please provide your CV to the undersigned. In your covering letter, please indicate level of education professional/minor hockey experience. Applicants will be also ranked on save percentage and attractiveness of mask design (photos encouraged).

Thank you for your time, and good luck in your job search. Sincerely,
Aaron