Let's talk about my company hockey tournament. I play in it every year, and while it used to be a goldmine for drunken ref-punching debauchery and teste-flashing fat old guy stories, it has since settled down somewhat, with the hiring of actual referees (instead of volunteers) and a change of venue (out of Eastern Passage).
Well, what this year's tournament lacked in drunken violence and nudity, it more than made up for in DISGUSTING INJURIES.
See: two opposing players collide in front of our net - the helmet of one player smooshing the face of the other, driving his front teeth through his top lip, busting up his nose and leaving him dizzy and bloody on the ice. After a short stint in the"quiet room", he returned to finish the game, possibly concussed, with a mosaic of steri-strips holding his face skin together...
Then there was our defenseman who fell circling the net and dislocated his shoulder. Writhing and screaming on the ice, he managed to pop it back into place like a lanky Canadian Riggs (apparently this used to happen all the time). Maybe inspired by the bloodied opposition (see above), said D-man stayed on the bench and felt strong enough to play the next shift. Perhaps unsurprisingly, after colliding with an opposing player on an unsuccessful end-to-end rush, he dislocated the shoulder again and was not able to shake it back into position. Much screaming and stomach-turning ensued...
Ick (and that's not mentioning the bruised ribs and bloody noses and miscellaneous slashes-to-the-groin)...
Aye, but it was all in good fun!
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