T Minus X Days

Last night, Terri and I went to bed to the lovely noxious smell of the powdered crack-fill used by Mr. Contractor to treat our disgusting upstairs bathroom floors before installing a new layer of flooring (tonight). This was preceded by (i) 2.5 hours of cacophonous scraping and banging as the previous disgusting floor was removed, (ii) 2 hours of waiting with bated breath as cranky teething Lydia miraculously slept through the aforementioned cacophonous scraping and banging, (iii) cleaning large pungent puddles of cat piss from the floor next to the litter, which our fat-ass prissy cat refuses to use in protest of something she isn't able to effectively communicate, and - perhaps more positively - (iv) me selling my giant hernia-inducing bass amp for $200 and a photo of my scrotum. On the down side, I now have to take a photo of my scrotum, but I am a man of my word.

Then today, Tuesday, started with Lydia spitting up on my shirt approximately 20 seconds before my carpool pulled into the yard. It was cute, but still... now I'm at work, with a muted baby vomit stain on my sleeve. You know - I need a vacation. Fortunately...

In 17 days: I will begin my two-week vacation. Outside of a brief trip to Cape Breton, we have no specific plans. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I foresee these two weeks being the defining point of my early fatherhood. Lydia will begin to speak and walk and regularly drink from a bottle... and read and write... and transcribe her father's brilliant thoughts into blog form. Baby squirrels will massage my temples and feed me Doritos while a kitty-drawn chariot leads us around a blissfully quiet Colby Village, suddenly devoid of the thundering car stereos and rumbling exhaust systems of shiny cars piloted by spoiled rich kids wearing big hats - all in honor of my vacation. I will return to work after these two weeks a new man - refreshed and ready to be productive. Then...

In 38 days: Modest Mouse plays Halifax, with Terri and me in attendance. Eeeeee.

In 61 days: Terri turns 31 29, and we celebrate our anniversary as glamorously as our finances will allow (i.e. takeout sushi and Scrabble, or the game of her choice).

In 98 days: Miss Lydia turns 1 - party! Then, in 99 days, Terri returns to work and Miss Lydia begins her life at day care - anti-party!

And in 100 days: the 2009 Halifax Pop Explosion Music Festival commences, this year featuring The Acorn and Ohbijou. For once, I may actually have to attend instead of just talking about it.

Then all will be well with me and the world. But mostly me.