Step 1

As I’ve written on here before, when I was younger (elementary school or thereabouts), I used to ingest spoonfuls of icing / brown sugar from the baking cabinet, then burn around the house or be generally obnoxious for the next few hours, before crashing – cranky, sweaty and tired. Such unhealthy and compulsive behavior is likely the driving force behind many of the bad decisions of my youth, namely – stupid haircuts, and my considerably stunted social development. It also may be why my mother believed I might have had ADD – a thought I do not disagree with… at all.

Flash forward to some 15-20 years later. Yours truly, the former sugar addict, now greets each morning by ingesting a litre of coffee and godknowshowmany mg of caffeine, simply to function. Sometimes I find my eye twitching uncontrollably, other times I feel spasms in my bicep muscles and notice my hand shaking like somethingerother. And other times I suspect I may be having a stroke; “Hmm,” I chuckle to myself, “that can’t be good… mayyyybe I should cut back a little.” To justify this behavior, I have been blaming the late nights and early mornings required of a new parent – but this was my routine long before Lydia arrived. Before that, I blamed my student lifestyle – staying up late to watch Teletoon or to surf the web – but then I would consume an equal amount regardless of the hour I went to bed.

So then, why? Do I have an addictive personality? My internet dependency suggests that I do, but then why aren’t I a hardcore alcoholic also? Am I simply a slave to routine? Are these two things one and the same? Do I have an undiagnosed case of OCD? When will my heart explode?

Stay tuned dear readers – you’ll know the answer to that last question when these posts cease without explanation.