Celebration Gone Awry

Upon arriving home last night and greeting Terri and Lydia as if I had returned from service in Afghanistan, I promptly heated up some supper, cracked a beer, and set the Shop-Vac on fire. True story.

Elaboration: to be helpful, I tried to clean out the pellet stove while the embers were still hot. Said embers lodged themselves in the Shop-Vac filter and continued to smoulder, filling the main level of the house with acrid black smoke and the wonderful smell of burning rubber, which I believe is an aphrodisiac in some lonely desolate corners of the Eastern Shore. Panicked, I hauled the whole contraption out onto the front deck, in the pouring rain, and proceeded to make an awful mess - both of myself, the deck, the vacuum, and anything white on the main level of the house, including all door frames and mouldings. Pretend not to notice this the next time you come over for a visit...

Oh, and Lydia slept through everything.