Adventures in Pre-Natal Class: Episode Two

Things got off to a rough start this week when I tried to make supper for us before the class and I "pre-cooked" the potatoes into a slimy ball of mush. And then I over-compensated on attempt number two and ended up with some deliciously crunchy potato centres. Mmm, starchy. Plus, I left cauliflower crumbs everywhere - sink, counter, underfoot (friggin cauliflower) - and kind of burned the salmon in the oven. Aargh. Rushing out the door with that disgusting meal lodged in my throat, I wasn't in the greatest moods and was set to look like the cranky asshole Dad (again) at yonder pre-natal class...

Of course, the first thing the Public Health nurse did was divide us into two groups - men vs. women - and have us each list what we were looking forward to, as well as our concerns. Awkward, so awkward. The women's table was totally glowing and gushing with sentiment as they excitedly listed off all of the wonderful things they were expecting - the milestones, shopping for outfits, the mat leave, etc. Meanwhile, us grunting macho guys basically wrapped everything up in two points - having a baby, being a Dad - but we had to pad this up to make sure that our list of fears and concerns didn't appear too long by comparison, which it did anyway, but we didn't want to seem insensitive. That said, one tactful (and likely couch-bound) gentlemen listed "this pregnancy being over" among the things that he was most looking forward to. This was met with icy stares from the women's table and a nervous chuckle/stifled hatred from the Public Health nurse. Go men!

Then, a discussion on parenting styles. At one end of the parenting spectrum: the strict and military "brick wall" style of parenting where Mom and Dad are the undisputed boss, end of discussion (this sounded pretty familiar to me). Apparently this is frowned upon. At the other end, the free-spirit, hippy, "Running With Scissors" style of parenting, dubbed the "jellyfish" style. This also is frowned upon. With little discussion, it was revealed that the ideal style of parenting is a combination of these two styles, which I hereby dub the "jellywall", or "brickfish" method. Wakka-wakka-wakka!

Moving on, we were shown a few instructional videos with lots of hammy overacting (as the other expecting father at our table audibly whispered to his wife - "psyyychooo", lol). I know I've been coming across as pretty negative here, so I'll note that good points were made in each video re: identifying depression, parenting tips, how to deal, etc. In fact, these videos were far more useful than the rest of the class, which itself is an excellent forum for all 16 of us terrified parents to ask questions to a professional.

Right. So. In conclusion, class two was much more useful than class one. Let's hope class three has less group work.